I want to take a moment to talk to anybody who is sensitive.
What I mean is, when someone speaks to you about your job or about the work you’ve done on a project, you find yourself taking that feedback, processing it as criticism – and then you do something that even I’m guilty of. You shut down.
When you shut down, you are fueling and building a community of people around you that are going to walk on eggshells when they engage with you. This will not only make them cautious when speaking to you. This can be damaging to your business and team.
And, what you might not realize, is that you could have the most powerful person in your space right now that is directly connected to the ultimate dream you want or goals you want to reach. When you shut down you are also shutting them out. You are not giving them permission to stand shoulder to shoulder with you in order to help you succeed.
I used to get angry. I would get angry, I would yell, I would yell some more and then I would shut down. I was the “yeller.” Being sensitive and being a yeller are both equally as dangerous and destructive to the team’s success. Both are oppressive and will hold the team down. No matter which side you’re on it’s irrelevant, the bottom line is, it doesn’t work.
When I realized how my anger was affecting my team I had a decision to make; change how I process my anger and achieve better results with my team, or don’t. And I did. And yes, I still yell but I don’t yell at people anymore. Now, I ask permission of my team to know that I love them, I’m not angry at them, I’m just triggered by something and I need space and time to blow this off. And together we get through it and it passes.
So, what’s the best way for you to change or at least mitigate the effect you’re having on your team? How can you take personal responsibility to better yourself and transform the way you express your sensitivity? My recommendation: leadership work.
We have a leadership program because I know that everybody deals with feedback differently. I’m on my journey to better and you can be too. It’s okay to be sensitive, we are human, and it happens. But it’s not okay to make other people circumvent your sensitivity.
If you want to be part of an “A team”, you need to be able to digest your emotions and filter them through a different lens. Great people are created, they are not born. People traditionally outgrow each other and that’s because some grow faster than others. Without acknowledging what your sensitivity might be doing to your team what will eventually happen is, you’re going to get outpaced. And then where are you going to be?
Remember that it’s not the most talented at the top, it’s the most willing.
Get your mind right and your business will follow.
To watch my video where I talk more about this, click here.