Women, Shame, and Guilt

Women, Shame, and Guilt:
Why We Do Things That We

Really Don’t Want To Do!



You’ve got to ask yourself:  Why do you do the things that you really don’t want to do?

It’s become so clear to me that abundance, love, and health are not something we are entitled to—because they take work.  We can live amazing lives; however, we’ve got to step into making hard decisions to live an EXCELLENT life.

Recently, one of my clients, Michelle Stewart, was saying how people often say that she’s lucky because of what she’s been able to accomplish. However, LUCK has NOTHING to do with it.  She works hard and does the things that scare her in exchange for living the life she wants.  In addition, she is the perfect role model for showing her children what’s possible for their lives if they just TRY!

So why do we allow guilt and shame to convince us that we should stay:

  • In a relationship a bit longer 
  • In a job we don’t like
  • That it’s not a good time to step up and make serious money 
  • Convinced that LATER is going to BE better

I’ll tell you why!

Because when we operate INSIDE our own problems, we are all solely optimists who avoid being in pain.  However,  NOT making a change creates the exact pain that you are wanting to avoid.  

Then we spend years projecting that it’s someone else’s fault for why we have the life we have.   So here’s the truth—YOU DON’T HAVE TO WAIT ANYMORE…

It’s going to be HARD, but this will make it EASIER for you.

Take copious notes and re-read, share, and spread this information all around you because this is the KEY to us all being HAPPIER, HEALTHIER, AND WEALTHIER people.  

I believe that we all deserve that life—no matter what mistakes we’ve made in the past.  If we are all one, then let’s act like it every day with everyone.



So here’s the JUICE to making things work for you in your life and preventing you from letting shame and guilt talk you into doing things that you don’t want to do!

It all comes down to VALUE EXCHANGE!

But first let me share with you WHY you give into settling for giving more when you don’t want to—and you know it.

It’s because you feel shame that if you don’t help someone, you are a bad person.  You think that in order to be good, you’ve got to hold to your personal standard of what makes a good person. The problem is that if you don’t give authentically then you are causing a problem for yourself.  

GUILT is at the root of all problems, and it will KILL all DREAMS if given the change. 

Guilt does not discriminate and will steal your vitality right away from you unless you stand up and realize that you are worthy.  YOU come first, so that you can GIVE and INSPIRE others to be first in their own lives.

Here’s what to do when you are in a Giving CRUNCH!

Pay attention to the value exchange in every transaction you do,whether that be LOVE, business, or your health.  It’s even important to exchange with GOD.  If you want more in life, be sure that you are providing a HIGH value and RECEIVING a high value in return and that you want to give when you are giving.

Let me articulate this with more clarity, because when this clicks, your life will forever be changed.

You may initially not want to GIVE (because we are conditioned to operate in scarcity).

Drop yourself into an AWARENESS, and operate above your feelings. 

Ask yourself first, WHY do I not want to give here?  Then see if, in your mind, there is an opportunity that provides you with a value exchange that you cherish.  This will help you BE REAL with yourself instead of doing things because you think you have to.

Now when you are ASKING another person to help you or give to you… 
check in and see if you are providing an equitable VALUE EXCHANGE in return.  

This is a great opportunity for you to give more than you normally do and really make the act of helping you a great experience for someone else.  

I’ve had to learn that the hard way, and my intention is that you will be more conscious in creating a better new world for each of us to do business in.

As you walk through your day, be CONSCIOUS on what your VALUE EXCHANGE is in each moment.  Give freely, and you’ll find your life will change.  

…And look carefully at why you don’t want to give and DO NOT DO IT OUT of guilt or shame because that is not giving.  It’s being a MARTYR.

 Let me know your thoughts in the comment section below.

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Hi! I’m Shanda Sumpter, owner of HeartCore Business, investor to entrepreneurs on The Pitch, and named as one of Inc. 5000’s fastest growing companies in 2017, 2018, and 2019. I’ve helped business owners all over the nation grow and scale their businesses while enjoying their lives more. I believe in giving generously and being honest—all in the name of leaving a legacy.

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